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Total
Commitment
All my successes,
achievements and the person that I am becoming are based upon one
solid foundation: relationship. The greater the relationship the
greater the benefits. We have unlimited potential that needs to be
nurtured and developed but how will this happen? I believe the answer
is, 'meaningful and fruitful relationships'.
Here are the fundamental
principles to a successful relationship. Adhering to them brought me
peace, fruitfulness, joy and an abundance of fun. Following them will
do the same for you.
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T |
Trust
and honesty |
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O |
Openness |
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T |
Teamwork |
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A |
Apology and forgiveness |
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L |
Love |
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C |
Communication |
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O |
Obedience and submission |
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M |
Management skills |
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M |
Managing change |
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I |
Investment appraisal |
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T |
Training and development |
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M |
Mutual goals |
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E |
Encouragement |
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N |
Need for discipline |
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T |
Tolerance and understanding |
Total commitment
Let me
illustrate total commitment by telling you a story that was shared with me.
A chicken and a pig came together to hold a meeting. Soon after the
meeting started, the chicken said to the pig, "Mr Pig, our farmer has
been good to us over the years and I feel that it would be a great
idea if we made him breakfast this morning." "I think you are
absolutely right Chick, our farmer has been good to us, what should we
cook?" Mr Pig replied. "I will provide the eggs and you will provide
the bacon", replied Chick.
After much consideration,
Mr Pig said, "For you it's a contribution, but for me its a
sacrifice." Some people are like the chicken, only able to give a part
of themselves, while others are like Mr Pig, giving everything of
themselves to keep the relationship together. Be totally committed to
your relationship. Become like Mr Pig.
Trust
and honesty
By telling lies you run
the risk of destroying what you have spent years to build. Many
relationships have been destroyed because of lack of trust, deception
and dishonesty. Do not go the way of fools. Leave dishonesty behind
and you will keep your relationship together.
Openness
Society encourages us to
become independent by separation and keeping things to ourselves, even
if it means our lives are destroyed. Many of us put up a false or
superficial appearance to hide what we are going through. Be open and
don't hide behind a mask, be yourself and let your true colours be
seen. By hiding who you are, you only hurt yourself and live a lie.
Teamwork
I see my relationship
with my wife as a major business. It is extremely sad to see so many
families operate as individuals rather than a team. If more families
operated as teams, there would be more love, joy and peace in the
home. Work together as a team, operate as a business and live as a
family.
Apology and forgiveness
If you are wrong
apologise. If you are hurt forgive. This area is probably the most
difficult and consequently it is the most destructive area in any
relationship. If you cannot apologise or forgive it is extremely
difficult to experience true love, joy and peace in your relationship.
Love
Unconditional sacrificial
love is by far the most important aspect of the list above. Do your
very best to keep this type of love flowing in your relationship: Love
is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast.
Love is not proud. Love is not rude. Love is not self-seeking. Love is
not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects,
trusts, hopes and perseveres. Love never fails. Let love continue.
Communication
Spend quality time
listening to each other. After all, communication is an essential key
to a successful relationship. Let no unwholesome or corrupt
communication come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for
building your relationship.
Obedience and submission
Be obedient and
submissive to one another. Some men believe that it is the duty of the
wives and children to submit and be obedient and because of this
attitude conflict arises.
Management skills
Many of us go off in
pursuit of excellence and leave our relationship in serious problems.
The more effective you are in the home, the more effective you will be
in the work place. Listen to tapes, read books, watch videos and
attend seminars to improve your relationship.
Managing change
The home is a place of
continuous change, births, deaths, adolescence, accidents, sickness,
fights, arguments and more. Learn to adapt to those events in your
relationship that you have no control over and take control over those
events that you can.
Investment appraisal
It is required that
stewards give an account of their stewardship. If you owned £10
million pounds, wouldn't you invest it and from time to time do an
appraisal? Always review how well your relationship is doing.
Training and development
"Train your children in
the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not turn from
it", said King Solomon. Some parents are so busy that they leave all
the training to the schools, churches, TV and others. A survey
conducted showed that fathers spent on average five minutes a week
with their children. Since 1985 I have made it my main duty to meet
with my children every morning, Monday to Friday from 7:15am to
8:00am. Listen to the words of Kuan Tzu, 3rd Century BC: "When
planning for a year, sow corn, when planning for a decade, plant
trees, when planning for a lifetime, educate and train."
Mutual goals
A relationship without
goals is like a ship without a rudder, wandering aimlessly from place
to place in distress. Goals are the steering device that gives you
direction and keeps you on course. They will motivate and inspire you
to action and awaken you to the talents and aspirations of each other.
They will lead you into the land of prosperity, power and success and
make your relationship a tower of strength. Mutual goals will create
an air of excitement. Behold, how good and how
pleasant it is for a relationship to dwell together in unity and
pursue excellence together.
Encouragement
Encouragement will impart
"courage" build confidence and make a person as bold as a lion. "The
tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A great
forest can be set on fire by one tiny spark. And the tongue is a flame
of fire." The tongue also is like a small fire that can destroy the
whole relationship. The tongue of some cannot be tamed, it is unruly
and full of deadly poison. I believe that the tongue is the major
cause of most relationship challenges.
Need for discipline
Discipline is a state or order based upon submission to rules and
authority. Every professional organisation, business or Government has
operational rules. Even God has rules and if you break them you pay
the price. A family that does not have rules, is like a city that is
broken down and without walls. Could you imagine what your community
would be like if there were no order, police or Government? You can?
Some relationships are like that.
Tolerance and understanding
Every relationship will
undergo great challenges and endure adverse environmental conditions.
Because many of us are not patient and understanding, serious
conflicts arise. Be patient and willing to listen to one another. Do
not give your answer before you understand the question. Be quick to
listen, slow to talk and slow to anger.
I have discovered from an
early age that the secret of living is giving and the seed I sow I
will reap. The more I give to the relationship the more I get out.
Therefore I say unto you give and it shall be given unto you; good
measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.
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